Parents travel to attend their daughter's law school graduation abroad, only for the mother to make the entire day about herself: ‘I felt scolded, embarrassed, and overshadowed throughout the day’

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  • "My mum then commented that she had considered buying me flowers but 'couldn't be bothered' to go to the shops nearby since I 'rushed' her."
  • "Worst graduation day ever"

    I (23F) recently graduated with my law degree, flew in to celebrate with me. We booked an Airbnb together, and I was really looking forward to the day being something special for all of us.
  • On the morning of the ceremony, I left early to register because we had a scheduled family photoshoot beforehand. (Before I left, I was getting scolded by my mum while getting ready bcs I didn't have time to help her do her hair)
  • I had already let my parents know what time to arrive, but they came a bit late. When I called to check where they were, they felt I was rushing them. By the time they arrived, they were flustered, and while we
  • were waiting in line, my mum mentioned her eye makeup had smudged "because I rushed her." My dad then snapped at me in front of people, saying I stressed him out. I ended up in tears before the photos even started. They
  • were waiting in line, my mum mentioned her eye makeup had smudged "because I rushed her." My dad then snapped at me in front of people, saying I stressed him out. I ended up in tears before the photos even started. They told me "s k it up".
  • My boyfriend arrived with flowers for me. My mum then commented that she had considered buying me flowers but "couldn't be bothered" to go to the shops nearby since I 'rushed' her
  • After the ceremony, my friends wanted pictures, so I asked my boyfriend to hold my handbag while I posed. During that time, my mum quietly said to
  • him: “I don't know how you can stand her, she's a lot of work." This was only the second time they'd met, and he was surprised to hear that.
  • We then went for lunch at a restaurant uphill. I had packed flats to change into from my heels, but my mum ended up taking them to wear instead. I got
  • painful blisters walking uphill in my heels. When my friends noticed and asked why I wasn't wearing my flats, my mum cut in proudly: "She had flats, but the mum has
  • blisters too, so I took them." She didn't have blisters, but she said it in a way that almost made it into a lighthearted joke. My friends looked stunned.
  • a photo of a woman in evening wear holding her foot and taking off her uncomfortable heel shoe
  • I know they came all this way for me, but instead of feeling celebrated, I felt scolded, embarrassed, and overshadowed throughout the day. What should have been a happy milestone ended up leaving me stressed.
  • Side note/context: I'm an international student from Southeast Asia studying in the UK. My boyfriend is British, and my original plan was to stay here after graduation and get a job.
  • My parents have told me that if I choose to stay, they won't support me financially and will cut me off completely. They forced me into doing a postgraduate / the bar, which I am, but I am quietly planning my exit and saving up on money.
  • ScowlyBrowSpinster Do not go home. Stay in the UK, get a job, keep the nice boyfriend. Your parents just want a punching bag.
  • tunaonigiri12 You're absolutely right. I'm back in my home country with my parents right now and everyday they're telling me how selfish it is if I never come back. Guilt tripping me that it's so far away
  • They want me to do my postgraduate back in the UK, so I leave in a week and will be gone for another year. This gives me another year to save up while studying. I'm quietly planning my exit during this time. I appreciate your comment
  • KimiMcG Go and take a UK job, won't matter if they cut you off. You'll have your own income. Live your life how you want.
  • tunaonigiri12 Getting these comments really reassure me to make the right yet hard decision. It's taken me a while because I grew up in such a toxic household and was expected to 'appreciate' them for sending me abroad etc. I'm quietly
  • planning my exit now and plan to reduce contact once I'm independent. I'm doing another year of postgraduate instead of working, so I hope to land a better paying job + have more time to save up. Thank you so much!

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